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Crafty Lerisa is a Breton first met in Stros M'Kai, a pirate to the core, and a lover of action -- fighting, stabbing you in the face, the fun stuff! She is also quite adept at disguises, as she will tell you muchly, and rather enjoys knives and disguises a little too much...

Availability: Crown Store Sale

Cost: 2,500 Crowns

Obtained: Crown Store

Lines Spoken by This Houseguest:

• "Always hide a few pices of gold on your person. You never know when a crewmate's going to double cross you and throw you overboard with nothing but the clothes on your back. A bit of gold goes a long way toward enacting your revenge."
  
  
• "Always keep a sharp knife handy. It can make the difference between life and death. You ever try to crack a clam open with a dull blade? Torture on the high seas."
  
  
• "Always know what's being brought aboard your ship. Turning a blind eye for a few extra coins may fill the coffers, but having a crate break open and disgorge a hungry hackwing does terrible things to a crew's morale."
  
  
• "Any fighting pits around here? Maybe a tavern where the regulars enjoy a good brawl? I can feel barnacles growing while I sit and do nothing. Not that I don't appreciate the accomodations, but too much relaxing is hazardous to one's health."
  
  
• "Be mindful around Howler. My furry little companions smile may be adorable, but he's never known a coin purse he couldn't pilfer. If yours goes missing, let me know."
  
  
• "Best knife I ever owned had a pommel made from an iridescent clamshell. Cut right through leather like a dream. Dropped it in the sea, though. Never saw that damn blade again."
  
  
• "Did you hear about the time I stole the Wayrest Ruby? Spent an entire day disguised as a maid's broom. One rather fetching servant used me to sweep the castle, then when night fell I just grabbed the gem and ran. I made a clean get-away!"
  
  
• "Ever shared a cabin with a sailor who refused to wash on a regular basis? Drives me mad quicker than getting caught in a lull on the open sea. I threw one inconsiderate cur over the side once just to give them a proper bath!"
  
  
• "Everyone wants my secret for the perfect disguise. Now, I'm loathed to reveal too much, but here's a hint. Total confidence. And an uncanny ability to truly believe you're someone or something else. Besides, most people are stupid and easy to fool."
  
  
• "Here's a little known tip. You can sharpen your knife against the hard shell of a mudcrab. Just make sure to get them nestled between your boots so they can't scuttle away. And do mind their claws. They don't take kindly to this sort of treatment."
  
  
• "Here's a sailing tip. Always make note of where they store the good rope. Never know when you might need to tie up a mutineer or secure a loose-fitting pair of pants."
  
  
• "Howler and I make a good team. I keep a steady stream of little bugs and fruit coming his way, and he makes sure nobody sticks a knife in my back. Besides, Howler has thumbs. Much more useful than a dog or cat."
  
  
• "Howler likes to act tough, but the little guy is prone to nightmares. Not your usual Daedric horrors or swamp beasts, no. Nightmares about losing a game of Tribute. Yup, he's an odd little monkey."
  
  
• "Howler makes this cute chirp when you come around. Like a little clicking of his teeth. He's either happy to see you or the sight of you makes him very hungry. Maybe keep your fingers in your pockets, just to be safe."
  
  
• "I do miss our little games of dress up. We should find the time to don diguises again. There must be some stronghold that needs pilfering. It's not weird that I like to change my garments and fool people into thinking I'm someone else, is it?"
  
  
• "I find it hard to sleep when it's too quiet. Sometimes I'll sneak out into the night and start a brawl in a nearby tavern or merchant camp just so I can get some shut eye."
  
  
• "I got my start looting treasure from shallow shipwrecks. I had an eye for finding scattered coins and jewels half-buried in the sand. And it helped that I was faster than the local mudcrabs. You don't want to get a finger caught in those pincers!"
  
  
• "I'm a sailor by trade, a thief by necessity, and a pirate by reputation. I'm also quite adept at disguises. If you come back later and see a potted fern or an innocent-looking rhododendron, that's probably me."
  
  
• "I've been practicing my brewing skills of late. I made a wonderful honey ale while drunk off my arse in the middle of a storm near the coast of Stros M'Kai. It was amazing! Unfortunately, I have no idea what I put in it. Hence, the practicing."
  
  
• "I've sailed on a great many ships, as part of a great many crews. But I always liked signing on with Captain Kaleen. She really knows the seas like the back of her hand and keeps a tight ship. I appreciate that in a captain."
  
  
• "If you're ever on the run and find yourself in a town filled with suspicious eyes and sharp knives, just buy everyone at the local tavern a round or two. Better to keep them looking at the bottom of their mugs than at your face."
  
  
• "Isn't it nice getting to kick back and throw your feet up? Not having to worry about guards hunting you down or someone recognizing your face? Relaxing without some rival trying to stab you in the back? Hmm. Maybe that's just me."
  
  
• "It's hard work keeping a ship seaworthy. When I was young I used to scrape barnacles and sea scum off the side of hulls to earn some coin. You learn quick that for every skilled sailor, there's a dinghy full of lazy sods taking up space on a ship."
  
  
• "My sister Josseline sent me a strongly worded letter the other day. Something about never wanting to see me again and that I should sleep with one eye open. Nice of her to keep in touch."
  
  
• "No sense pinching coins when it comes to a good pair of boots. Nothing worse than swashbuckling with sand and seaweed getting into loose-fitting footwear. Besides, my mother always told me that wet feet are stinky feet, and no one wants that."
  
  
• "People say I have a bad habit of sneaking up on them. It's not my fault that I'm perfectly silent and they're easily frightened. Sometimes, it's just one complaint after another."
  
  
• "Remember that time in Saints--. Or was that in Betnikh? Maybe Shornhelm? Anyway, we had such a grand adventure! That was you, wasn't it?"
  
  
• "Sailing survival tip number fifty-four. Feeling seasick? Just imagine yourself as a huge horker adrift on a chunk of ice, licking your tusks, and thinking about your next big, juicy fish. Yum! Works wonders, trust me on this."
  
  
• "Sewing. Learn it. Very useful skill. Best way to add secret knife pockets to all your clothes. Bet you can't guess how many knives I'm carrying. Honestly, I've lost count. That's how many I have hidden on me."
  
  
• "Saddest I've ever been was when I watched a crate of Alik'r spirits sink into the deep. My crew had to hold me down so I wouldn't dive in after it. I guarantee you, those fish had the best night of their lives."
  
  
• "Someone actually wanted me to put Howler up as stakes in a game of Tribute. I accepted, of course, and Howler let me know his displeasure. But I won the match and he's still here. He simply has no faith in me. No faith at all."
  
  
• "There's a beautiful cove not too far from here, perhaps a few days journey. I go there to unwind. Sometimes I lay in the sand and pretend I'm writing a book about my adventures. A nice dream, but I don't have the patience to be an author."
  
  
• "Whatever you do, don't stare directly into Howler's eyes. It's impolite. You have to shake his hand first and bow. If you don't believe me, go ahead and see how fast he tries to claw your eyes out. He takes proper etiquette quite seriously."
  
  
• "When I look into your eyes I see hunger. No, not for a sweetroll. The kind that rouses you in the night and makes you reach for the hilt of the dagger you keep under your pillow. I recognize that look. I see the same one when I look in the mirror."